The first thing I have to say is to myself as much as to whomever reads this blog or has been kind enough to walk this journey with me: I forgive myself for falling behind. I’m not a perfect student, but I’m still a darn good one!
Ok, that being said, it’s time to BLOG!!!
One of our recent challenges was to be silent for an extended period of time.
You get the picture.
Totally and completely silent.
I did it last year when I took the class and I remember it being a HUgE challenge. I did it from 7a to 7p and it was fun, but part of the point is to be able to quiet your mind, and I think last time I tried it my mind could have gotten more quiet.
Well, I’ve been practicing CONSISTENT “sitting” or meditation for a solid 5 months now, and I have moments where my mind gets very quiet, and it’s a wonderful space to be.
So this year we were challenged again to have an extended period of silence.
“You’re going on a treasure hunt!”, they told us.
What is the treasure? What are we trying to find?
The treasure is our gift! The gift that is in our heart that we want to share with the world!!
Well I know what I want my gift to be, and I keep trying to rationalize it and explain it but so far I haven’t been able to. So I happily embark on this silent treasure hunt.
From 1pm Saturday to 2pm Sunday…so 25 hours minus whatever I was going to sleep. No matter what, it was going to be more than I did the year before.
What a day!!! First, I felt like it took so much pressure off of me. I felt lighter. It was a gorgeous day outside. I mostly did activities I like to do, because it was my time. It felt really good taking that time for myself. I meditated longer than I ever have before. I sat comfortably for 52 minutes!!! It was a beautiful space, an incredible gift. Went for a run, walked the dog, etc.
Next morning ate breakfast, meditated some more, went for a run, and went to the mountain top to journal.
At this point I had 2 hours left so I really wanted to be ALONE and the mountain top is a great place. It has a picnic table with a beautiful view of the whole area.
My time was running out but where was my treasure?!
So I started writing and thinking about singing and music, how much I love singing and how i want to be better than good at it, better than great. But I’ve never come up with a satisfying reason. and that made me wonder if it was real, really my dream, or a dream manufactured by the media (all the glitz and glam they hype up the superstar life to be).
WHY do I want to be one of the greatest singers?!
I struck GOLD.
I asked the question and an answer came out of nowhere.
I’ve always known deep in my heart that I’m a healer, and music is one of the most healing gifts God has ever bestowed upon us. It only makes sense that I want to heal people with music. Not only that, but also be one of the greatest. (I always want to be the best at whatever I do.)
Music has lifted my spirits when nothing else could. No matter what I’ve gone through, and I’ve gone through my fair share, music has Always had a positive effect on me. I’d go so far as to say it’s saved my life before.
That gift that I’ve been given, that gift of music…I want to gift it to others. I want to do that for other people. It just makes Sense. And it feels right.
So many good things. I found ALL the TReASURE!!!
So that was one of my gifts, feeling good about why I have this dream to be a great singer and affect people with my music, why it had been given to me to work to fulfill.
I’m very blessed to know.
And NOw…the work begins!!!