Week 2/the Cumulative Effect

What a week it has been on Liberty’s Great Golden Buddha Adventure!  There has been ample writing, daydreaming, epiphanies, and effort to simply observe.  There has been much brainstorming and action involving foundational habits and behaviors.

What I am observing/noticing:

I am choosing to give myself permission to create and be blessed by it.

My confidence is increasing.

My attitude towards money is changing.

My attitude and faith in my ability is skyrocketing.

I am better able to positively respond to stress.

I am more mindful throughout the day.

I am attracting like-minded people.

I am valuing my time more.

I value relationships more, choosing to view them as gifts from the Universe.

I am more proactive about soothing myself.

I am taking better care of my body, mind, and spirit.

I think strictly in terms of the ideal, not the reality.

I am rising to meet the responsibility that comes with the power of manifestation, graciously and firmly guided by my angels and the spiritual laws of the Universe.

For the first time in a long time, I am gaining personal momentum.


 

I can see the cumulative effect and that is very special for me because for the past few years I’ve been merely trying to survive, instead of being able to maintain, let alone flourish.

In the past three years I got lost my grandfather, fell in love, got my heart broken, broke up with my mother, moved several times, started grad school, became extremely ill, got kicked out of grad school, and couldn’t hold down a job for more than a month.  I started isolating myself from everyone except my dog, whom I was convinced hated me and I obsessed so deeply over that thought, I almost sent her to live somewhere she could have the life I wasn’t giving her.  My body and soul were completely worn down, and I was paralyzed with fear about everything, stressed to the hilt.  I even had fleeting thoughts of suicidal ideation.  Yeah, it was bad.

But, as my angels always do, they were the voice of reason in the eye of the storm.  “You came to Earth to have a human experience.  You embarked on the journey with the Intention to create something beautiful, and grow the Love of the World.  That is your purpose.  Now go do it.”

I sought additional professional help.  I was already in counseling and we decided I would visit a psychiatrist.  (As a student of human behavior with graduate level training in mental health counseling, I intrinsically understand the value in the process of counseling/therapy.  When things are falling apart, get help, from professionals.)

I was diagnosed with OCD.  This explained a lot of why my stress response was so drastic.  I would get hooked on/obsess over negative thoughts that went directly against the moral and ethical fabric I considered my shield.  When you add a heart condition that makes me hyper-sensitive to stress, I’m a recipe for disaster.  With everything I’d lost, my beliefs were all I had left.  Now the asshole in my brain was robbing me of my faith.  I had few resources to spare.

I started a regimen of Zoloft.  I was very familiar with life on Zoloft, however this time it is was revisited through experienced and educated eyes.  The decision to begin taking an anti-depressant was a winding road of pre-conditioned pros and cons.  I own a home-based business that acts as a distributing arm for revolutionary scientific nutritional products, that can (when used correctly) actually help people get OFF pharmaceuticals.  I was afraid if people knew, they’d attach a stigma to it, or me.  I’d been on Zoloft two times before, both for 6 months at a time.  Each time I was getting along swimmingly and would decide to stop taking it because I “felt better”.

I decided long before I stepped foot in that doctors office, that I was going to stick with it this time.  Neuroscience was a hobby of mine, and it had taught me that people have the capacity to rewire their brains, young or old, big or small, a part or the whole.  A necessary condition to capitalize one’s own neuroplasticity opportunities, however, is the mental effort required.  What does that mean?

It means EFFORT of the spirit.  This can be difficult to do when your spirit is depleted for a variety of reasons.

Stress, in a negative form, is NOT conducive to rewiring your brain.  Why?  Ok I could go on and on about this but the reality is, for the past few years, as hard as I’ve been trying to rewire everything, all the stress I had incurred left me with little to no resources for enthusiasm.  That, and I was constantly using the last bit of energy I had to hang on to the shreds of the few relationships I had left.

MESS.

I’m happy to divulge that before I was offered a Pay It Forward Scholarship for the MKMMA, I was desperately hungry for the knowledge/know-how to control my conscious mind, give my subconscious mind the proper nutrition, and stabilize my person.  I’ve been employing every trick in the book to try and learn how to reduce stress and make myself a more productive person.  Stress + call for action + asshole in my brain = overwhelmed = paralyzing fear = nothing changes.  Now, thanks to supportive people in my life, a proper diagnosis, appropriate medication, and this MKMMA course in how to rewire your subconscious mind, I can feel myself steadily gaining momentum.  Now I have An observer’s stance + The Greatest Salesman, The Blueprint Builder, the Seven Spiritual Laws of the Universe, A clear mental picture of what I want to manifest for myself and others in this lifetime, and a pathway I get to lay out for myself, with help from my guides and angels, and brick by brick see my dreams turn into reality.

     Liberty’s Great Golden Buddha Adventure is being brought to you with Earnest Humility by Liberty.  I want to share with the world that this journey is about more than controlling my thoughts.   It’s about the choice I have to live the life I choose for my Self.  It is my DECISION to live a life of Dharma.  Infinitely, it’s about sharing my experiences with full faith that it will benefit someone else who connects with the story in some way.  It’s about the fact that the choice I have is one you have as well.  And I’ll do everything in my power to manifest a world more conducive to individuals being able to pursue their dharma.  It’s about the gift of thinking for your Self, the gift of Free Will, and how you take advantage of it, for your Self and the rest of Humanity.

I choose courage!

All that being said, if it is not clear, I’m IN IT to WIN IT.  I’m in it 100%, for the long run, however you want to say it.

I will be formatting my blog posts from this point forward. My intention is to lay the groundwork for the pathway to the best possible communication and making myself understood.

For anyone who made it all the way to the end of this post, wow.  Thanks.  I’m flattered.  Not about what you think necessarily, but more that you took the time out of your day to give my ideas some space in your space.

Namaste

Mahalo

Ciao!

 

P.S. To my MasterMind Alliance Members: I want everyone I’m in class with to know I am fully aware that this blog post has been posted a couple hours past the deadline.  I don’t know if I will be able to maintain my scholarship but I pray that everyone understands my conviction and persistence.  I may start slow, but I will never quit.  Thank you.

5 thoughts on “Week 2/the Cumulative Effect

  1. It was good to read your first two weeks experience and as they say with a lot of things “better out than in” so keep getting it out there as a problem shared is a problem halved and its better to the see your thoughts in front of you in black and white than have them racing around in your head. Everyone one has their own strengths and weaknesses and i sure have my share of both and it is encouraging to see you (like all of us on this journey) are not going to let them hold us back from the life we deserve, thanks Adam.

    Like

  2. You know you’ve got it bad when you’re convinced your dog — who knows only how to love unconditionally — hates you. :\ I’m so glad you’ve found a better path, and that you’ve learned so much already. Step by step… exercise by exercise… day by day… You are doing it!

    Willena

    Like

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